- Meet Java
I love my Chemex brewer!
Ok, level with me now…you just clicked on a link to meet a Hedgehog! Any concerns there? You might want to ask yourself, “What kind of person needs to get to know a Hedgehog more intimately?” I can’t answer that for you. Perhaps you have some unfulfilled needs of some sort? Childhood issues? Maybe you’re just a tad lonely and you’re discovering that some of your friends have gotten a little bit creepy over time and it’s time for some new relationships? No matter, let’s move on.
Actually, becoming friends with an African Pygmy Hedgehog makes more sense that you'd think. I’m extremely non-judgmental. I’m pretty much a “live-and-let-live” kind of guy. Whatever you tell me remains between us; like the “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” kind of thing. Granted, you may be the one that does most of the talking, but we CAN make this thing work. Really!
While I’m assuming most of your questions will be coffee related, I’ve been told I’m pretty good with relationship advice; you know, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife kind of things. Even though it’s truly not my primary area of expertise, I will help as best I can even with that.
But with coffee questions? Rock on with your bad self! Regarding any I can’t answer personally, I’ll reach out to my partners and together we WILL find the answers to your questions. Please bear in mind that we are a specialty roasting company. We don’t make those cute artsy coffee drinks with the little pictures in the foam, serve expensive rock hard biscotti, granola or Umpqua Oatmeal breakfast cereals. We roast high quality specialty coffees. For you complete coffee newbies, “roasting” means we take green coffee beans and turn them brown by scientifically applying controlled heat and airflow according to a predetermined profile based upon the individual coffee type and its characteristics. Are you tracking with me so far? Good.
So, here’s the way this thing works. You email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a brief question of whatever nature and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Please keep in mind that certain times of the year I have heavy modeling engagements (including being photographed in my personal Chemex brewer). Like a cat, I tend to sleep at odd times during both the day and night. I find myself getting the majority of my work done at night while you are most likely sleeping. So, give me a day or so to reply. I really love this part of my job - your emails - as it provides a distraction from just running on my wheel all day which has a tendency to get old. You're probably thinking, "Isn't running on your wheel basically what a hedgehog is supposed to be doing?" Poppycock! Based on the fact that I’m a cut above the average hedgehog in IQ points I find the mental stimulation helps me cope!
If at times my responses seem a little over the top, it’s probably because I have been cupping coffees for hours with my team and I’m probably wired on caffeine. (And, since my brain is only about 3.35 grams as opposed to yours at about 1,400 it doesn’t take much).
Looking forward to a long, mutually satisfying (somewhat unusual) friendship,